You feel like you’re pretending to do your job, can’t understand why you got hired (or promoted) and are sure it’s only a matter of time before your boss finds out…

You hear other people tell their story and think, ‘Wow, they’ve really got their s**t together,’ then spend the next 48 hours berating yourself for being behind…

As soon as someone says, ‘Tell me about you then,’ you freeze, some gubbins falls out of your mouth or you just make your excuses and head for the loo… 

We all have stories floating around in our heads. The problem is, we sometimes forget that they’re stories at all. Internal narratives about our organisations, bosses, colleagues (and let’s not forget families and friends too) feel so true to us, especially when they’re confirmed by others, that they can shape our whole mindset. And then there’s the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves! It’s these little tricksters we’re going to look at today. A word of warning: if you’re determined to continue thinking that you’re a great big phoney who’s fooled everyone into thinking they’re good at their job, maybe don’t read this…

How to use this guide

Think of this article in two parts. In part one, we expose the decidedly rubbish vibes of imposter syndrome. So if you struggle with that, start at the beginning. In part two, I teach you how to create four personal stories to crack out in all kinds of career fast-forwarding situations and conversations. So if that’s what you need, feel free to fast forward ⏭️. 

Contents

Know this: stories can be joyful, and sometimes BS
Shhh. I’m an imposter! 
What is your imposter syndrome telling you? 
How to: overcome imposter syndrome
What stories are you telling other people? 
How to: craft your core narrative and stories
WorkJoy community story: Imposter to promotion
Next steps: Choose your level of transformation
Spread the WorkJoy

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Know this: stories can be joyful, and sometimes BS

You’ve experienced stories since before you can consciously remember. From the bedtime stories you were told as a child, to doing ‘show and tell’ at school. As an adult, you’re asked to share your stories at key moments like job interviews, and there is a lot of joy to be found in sharing and listening to stories. But today we’re going to talk about a different kind of story: those that are playing out almost exclusively in your head. 

The stories in your head have an enormous impact on how you view things and how you feel; They can be the bedrock on which to build real joy or the influencer of gloom. With no one to listen to them and without any light to shine perspective on them, stories that are, in fact, utter BS, can masquerade as truth and cause all kinds of problems.

The first of these problems is unchecked arrogance, in which you start to think and act like you’re more important, know more, or are better than other people. In my coaching practice, I don’t see a whole lot of this (the arrogant don’t generally think they’d benefit from coaching – shocker!). But unchecked arrogance has a cousin. Perhaps you’ve heard of her? 

Yep, it’s time to get a lot better acquainted with imposter syndrome. 

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Shhh. I’m an imposter! 

Imposter syndrome has become a real topic over the last decade. It’s usually characterised by not feeling good enough, worthy enough, or like you don’t know enough and someone is about to expose your lack of expertise. It can influence both how you think about yourself and how you behave. Features include becoming hyper-self-aware, over-analysing and perfectionism. Any of those ring a bell?

Imposter syndrome also has real repercussions. Repeatedly telling yourself a story about how you don’t really know what you’re doing keeps you in a state of stress. When your inner imposter is running the show you won’t see things clearly, are unlikely to see and take opportunities, and your career could suffer big time. But – and listen up because this is the important bit – it’s not your fault. 

If unchecked, our human brains are wired to drift towards the negative (it’s called negativity bias), and we can all too easily turn that negativity on ourselves. And then there’s this little thing called patriarchy happening, that reinforces the amazingness of only one of the sexes (that shall remain nameless, but, well… 🍆). So the system is pretty much rigged, and you need to put in some effort to overcome it.

Imposter syndrome can also be heavily influenced by your environment. If you’re feeling undervalued or that you don’t belong, your imposter may be on guard. For many years, people have been told they have imposter syndrome and that’s the reason for their lack of ‘confidence’ or ‘progression’. Now that story really is BS. This narrative is, thankfully, starting to be challenged, with organisations realising that culture is a contributing factor. 

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What is your imposter syndrome telling you? 

Well, it’s most likely telling you that you’ve got a squiffy story going round and round in your head. 

Imposter Syndrome expert and Author of Be the First, People of Colour, Important Syndrome and the struggle to succeed in a white world Caroline Flanagan spoke to me all about the puzzle that is Imposter Syndrome on the WorkJoy Jam podcast.

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How to: overcome imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome simply cannot survive in the face of self-belief.

This doesn’t mean thinking you’re great at everything or have nothing to learn or improve on. It means knowing your strengths and how to use them, and taking action to improve. We’re aiming for progress over perfection here. 

Building self-belief can be tricky, especially if you’ve been underestimating or undervaluing yourself and your abilities for some time. However, working on it can be transformational to your levels of WorkJoy. 

Reflection question:  On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your current level of self-belief?

If it’s below five, listen up because I’m going to tell you how to nudge it up the scale. l’d love to encourage you to think of your self-belief as a plant. It needs sunlight, oxygen, soil, and water to blossom.

Sunlight:
It’s easy to get stuck over-thinking, catastrophising, and putting walls up. Bringing your thoughts out of your head and into the light will help you inject a strong dose of reality and enable you to deal with the story in a positive way. 

There are many ways to get things out of your head: some people write them down (journaling, morning pages, and free writing are great tools), some people get artistic (draw, paint, dance, sing), and many people use conversation.

Oxygen:
Getting your stories into a conversation with someone you trust breathes life into them. It stops them being out of control fantasies. When done in partnership with someone you trust, who has your best interests at heart and can talk honestly about their views, it can be transformational. You’ll gain much-needed perspective and benefit from the gifts of their thinking, advice and feedback.

Water:
You can add water to your self-belief by seeking out facts, data and evidence to dispel myths and support growth. It’s human nature to focus on what supports your initial thinking – a phenomenon called confirmation bias – so seek out data from multiple angles. 

Get feedback from different people as multiple sources create a more balanced viewpoint. Aim for information that enables you to understand what you’re doing well and where you can improve. 

Soil:
The experiences you choose to give yourself will act as the soil in which you grow. You can choose whether that is rich and fertile, or dry and crusty! Stepping out of your comfort zone and into the learning zone will enable you to learn through your experience, collecting new stories and expanding the pot in which your plant sits.

Your plant may flower best at certain times and in certain situations. At other times, it might be re-seeding itself – getting ready to bloom. The reality is that sometimes you’re likely to be pulled in one direction or the other. Whether you need to pull yourself up or rein yourself in, through practice you’ll be able to draw upon the stories that have the biggest impact on your WorkJoy.

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What stories are you telling other people?

We’ve covered the stories that you might be telling yourself about yourself in your head. Now let’s switch to thinking about the stories you might be telling others about yourself out loud.

A strong foundation for WorkJoy is having a positive personal story and being able to share it with others. Many people find talking about themselves uncomfortable, so they have an armoury of avoidance tactics in play – from the old switcheroo of ‘let’s talk about you’, to the denial that a story exists at all: ‘Nope, nothing to see here!’ (as you hide in the corner, looking at your phone, hoping no one notices you!).

But stories are meant to be told and your story is interesting and valuable to other people. Having stories ready in advance of needing them can be useful to:

• Remind yourself of who you are, your journey, your successes, the hurdles you have jumped over, the ways you’ve grown and where you’re heading to.
• Easily recall and share when someone asks you a question about yourself (a pre-prepared, ready-to-go, engaging version, rather than the put-on-the-spot version).
• Act as the foundation of a conversation about you, your background, your career and where you want to head (helping people to understand how they can help you).

Reflection questions: What types of stories would you like to have ready to go? Context – in which situations might you use each type of story? (e.g., an interview or a performance review) Outcome – what are you hoping the outcome might be? (e.g., a new job or a positive score)Purpose – what is the purpose of sharing this story? (e.g., to help the panel understand how you’d add value or to share the details of your achievements) Audience – who will be experiencing your story and what might they want/need from you? (e.g., a hiring panel or your boss)

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How to: craft your core narrative and stories

Here are four core personal stories to build, rehearse and share. They will likely contain similar information, variations on the theme of you – with the length, depth and style changing. You can use these stories as needed, but they’re particularly effective for job interviews, performance reviews and in your networking. They also make great outlines for things like mentoring conversations. 

1. Your potted history 

It’s helpful to think of this story in terms of acts. Act one is the past – where you’ve come from and who you were. Act two might be the present – where and who you are now. And act three, the future – where you’re heading to and who you want to be. For example, here’s a short version of mine: 

Act One: I started my full-time working life as a temp in an Investment Company, thinking I’d do something very different once I’d worked out what I really wanted to do. What actually happened is I found my niche as a developer of people and organisations. I trained as a facilitator and qualified as an executive coach and that’s where my career took off. 

Act Two: After working in Investment, I wanted to challenge myself and experience a different working culture, so I went to work in the Public Sector. A few years before the London 2012 Olympics, I headed into another new industry – sport. Here I broadened my scope as an organisational leader, and added new strings to my bow working with a diverse workforce, from people in suits to people in trainers. 

Act Three: After nearly 15 years cultivating my career in-house, I decided to step into the world of entrepreneurship and I started my business. I now work with individuals to help them thrive at work, and with organisations to build highly engaging working environments. I’ve even written a book all about it. I’m now focused on building my business through my personal brand of passion and practicality.

2. Your elevator pitch

This is about what you do and why you do it. You’ll also want to include the opportunities you’re after. Here’s mine as an example…

Hi, I’m Beth and I’m a coach, facilitator, speaker, consultant and author, and the founder of Create WorkJoy. Having spent 20 years developing my signature practical, passionate approach, I’m all about getting to the heart of what’s actually going on – whether that’s for an individual client stuck in WorkGloom or an organisation with a people challenge to solve. I’m always keen to connect with individuals who are ready to transform their working lives and business leaders who want to do their people stuff, brilliantly.

3. Your future fantasy

This narrative is about what you want the future to look, sound and/or feel like. Make sure you include how you plan to get there and the support you need to make it happen. 

For example, when I was thinking about leaving the world of employment, I conversationed my way around my network (and anyone who was willing to help). I laid out what I thought I wanted to do, how I thought I might go about it, why it was important to me, why now, and then asked everyone for one piece of advice to help. 

4. Your deep dive

Aka ‘you 101’. This narrative includes more life-related stuff, like your values and beliefs, your strengths and what you’ve learned, and what you’re working on. This one is potentially best done in a deeper relationship, perhaps with a brilliant boss, a kind colleague, a magnificent mentor or a kick-arse coach. Someone who you can take your armour off with, get under the surface, dig around and be vulnerable. That’s where you’ll really start to unpick your story, understand its influence over your life and work so far and be able to use it to consider what your next chapter looks like. 

FREE DOWNLOAD Wouldn’t you know I’ve got a ‘Building Your Core Stories’ PDF that you can print and scribble on here.

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WorkJoy community story: Imposter to promotion

I’d been working for a large tech corporation for 12 years and was really comfortable there. But in a corporate role, it doesn’t matter how high you get, you’re only ever doing a tiny part of the overall work. I wanted to do more: ops, compliance, customer care, legal. I wanted more influence. So, from a corporate of thousands, I moved to a business of just 15 people.  When you’ve been the go-to person for others, it’s uncomfortable being the one asking the questions. It was a steep learning curve and the biggest thing I had to change to be successful was my mindset. I can be really hard on myself. The WorkJoy tools really helped me see that I had to give myself the same grace I would give my team. I didn’t need all the answers. Just over a year later I was offered a promotion to Operations Director. I didn’t know another woman in her thirties who was doing that job and imposter syndrome hit me hard. I decided to look back over my career, particularly at my first promotion into a management role – a career-defining moment. I was so conditioned to look for the next thing that I’d forgotten I was exactly where I’d spent years wishing I could be. I didn’t feel confident that I could do this next role because I hadn’t taken the time to look back and see all the progress and change I’d already made. None of it was luck. My bosses weren’t asking if I could do this next role; they were asking, ‘Will you do it?’ Writing my story not only helped me realise that I could, but that I deserved it! All I needed to do was say yes.

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Next steps: Decide what level of action you’re ready for

The thing about great stories is that the heroine – that’s you! – always goes through some kind of transformation. From overprotected princess to arse-kicking badass. From wallflower to wall-smasher. From follower to leader. Here’s the part where you get to decide what you’re ready for. 

If you’re ready for…a cup of tea and sit down
My GloomBusters audio guide pops a five-minute gloom-lifting audio into your WhatsApp every day for three weeks. Easy peasy.

If you’re ready for…inspiration
Dive into my podcast archive, grab a copy of my book or follow me on Instagram for a regular dose of WorkJoy.

If you’re ready for…transformation
Book a 1-1 coaching call with me. 

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Spread the WorkJoy

Got a friend struggling with imposter syndrome? We all do. Send them this link, and maybe suggest a little story-rewriting workshop. They bring the pens. You get the pastries 🥐.