You’re usually primed to fend off the stinky vibes of the office moodhoover, but they caught you on a bad day and now you’ve caught their WorkGloom…

You really wish you had a boss or a leader you could look up to, but they’re too snowed under/too underqualified/too crap, to give you a second thought…

You’ve got a friend who brings all the sparkle and makes you feel like everything is right with the world. ‘If only I could be like that…,’ you think with a sigh…

It’s the phrase that’s launched a thousand memes. “Be the change you want to see in the world,” they shout at you from Instagram, with a background of Jane Goodall or Princess Di or  Gandhi. I find it all a bit cliche (and all a bit annoying that anyone with a Canva account can upload yet more tripe to the internet). And yet…there is something about this sentiment that, if you really take the time to look hard at it, rings true. If you’re looking around the office and seeing only moodhoovers and mediocre bosses, with not a role model in sight, before you run for the hills, why not have a go at becoming your own role model? This guide shares the why, the how (including a checklist. I mean, who doesn’t love a checklist.) and the why wait? So why wait? Start reading. 

How to use this guide

If you want to squeeze every last drop from this guide, I really recommend reading it from start to finish, and listening to the podcast I recommend, too (it’s a goodie). If you’re pressed for time, speed straight to the ‘be-you-own-role-model checklist’ and start ticking. ✅

CONTENTS

Joy is catching. So is gloom. 
How to: be your own role model
The be-your-own-role-model checklist
What are you waiting for?
Next steps: becoming the change
Spread the WorkJoy

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Joy is catching. So is gloom. 

Permit me a festive analogy, if you will. 

Imagine you’re just not the Christmas type. Not a total Grinch, but also not Buddy the Elf. You curse retailers for wheeling out their Christmas gubbins before Halloween; groan when Christmas songs start coming on the radio in November and generally think Christmas movies are guff. And best not get you started on the faux cheer of the work Christmas party. But a good friend (your Christmas friend – we all have one) throws a little mince pie and mulled wine bash and you can’t say no. And so it is that you find yourself chowing down on the sticky stollen bites, lip-syncing to Mariah and complimenting your host on her excellent garlands. Yes, you conclude, Christmas can be catching. Someone else taking a ridiculous amount of joy in something (anything) can induce joy in you, too. Maybe you might even watch the Holiday (when no one is looking and just for vintage Jude, of course).

But here’s the downer. While joy is catching, so – most definitely – is gloom. Just like everyone has a Christmas friend, everyone knows what I call a moodhoover. In my book I list four different types of moodhoover (the moaners, the one-upmans, the manipulators and the my-way-or-the-highwayers). While the three latter types put out vibes that are most definitely catching, I think the type most likely to induce an epidemic of gloom in a team is the moaners. 

Everyone needs a good moan occasionally – a space to vent. It can be a helpful process in letting things go. This is very different to a chronic moaner, where nothing is ever good enough and everyone and everything is just wrong. Something good happens and they will find a way to make it a bad thing. Then the worst trait of all, they take no personal responsibility for fixing what’s creating the moan-worthy situation. Moans come round like a record on repeat, and nothing ever changes. You get stuck listening, trying to help, advising, guiding. You get exhausted. It becomes a source of your WorkGloom.

I recommend to clients who are dealing with a moaner to create a ‘no moan zone’ around themselves, and to set boundaries that clearly state your expectation that they take responsibility for what’s going on. These are great (and essential) steps for setting the bar back to neutral, but I really think we can aim higher? The best cure for darkness is, after all, light, and lots of it. And a high tide really lifts all boats (I really am on a roll with the metaphors today). Instead of being the person who simply manages the moodhoovers, why not be the person who brings the good vibes? 

Why not be your Christmas friend, just minus the Christmas bit?

Reflection questions: What moodhoovers are you experiencing now? How is it impacting your WorkJoy?

How to: be your own role model

Sometimes the bringer of light and joy, the blessed human tide that raises all boats, that you wish was in your team (or even better – leading your team) just isn’t cutting it. Maybe they’re having a rough time, maybe they’re underqualified or lack experience (loads of bosses are) or maybe they’re just a first-class moodhoover. 

It’s frustrating, I know. It would be just perfect if the people around us and above us (especially above us), were top notch, sparkling up the path behind them as they walked. I’ve known a lot of bosses and coached a lot of everyone, and let me tell you, although most people are genuinely trying their best, if you happen to work for or with Glinda the Good Witch, you are in the minority. But most of us? Well, we need to be our own role models.

Here’s a little extract from my conversation all about how Leaders are Human too with the wonderful Jo Smallwood…

The be-your-own-role-model checklist

Sure, some role models have a certain je ne sais quoi – a kind of quality that you can’t quite put your finger on. They just exude a vibe that makes everyone get along and bring their A game. But in general, I do think most role models have some clear cut attributes. So if you’re surrounded by blah bosses and moodhoover colleagues and you’re interested in being your own role model (because you should be; we all should be) start ticking your way through this checklist. 

Remember: these aren’t a one-and-done kind of actions, but behaviours to bake into your way of being. So do them, then do them again, and again, until they are less what you do and more, who you are. A role model. Yas!

Reflection questions: Which of these behaviours do you display regularly? Which do you need to work on, and how will you go about doing that?

What are you waiting for? 

Progress is made in thinking big and acting small. Always remember that you have the choice to create and cultivate more joy in your working life, you don’t have to wait for someone else to create it for you. You cannot fail at creating WorkJoy, as you’re not aiming for perfection, you’re aiming for progress. Every step you take will either move you towards more joy or give you a valuable lesson in what doesn’t work for you. You can give yourself permission to embark on this adventure, to invest in it, and to make great things happen for yourself – and by the power of JoyMosis (the unconscious process of sharing joy) you’ll bring more joy to the people around you too. 

Next steps: becoming the change 

Do you feel pumped? I feel pumped for you. When you declare ‘down with moodhoovers’ and back yourself as your own best role model, you are on a surefire path to WorkJoy. But let’s not forget, fulfilling that be-your-own-role-model checklist is a one-step-at-a-time kind of scenario. Here are some steps you can definitely take, starting today.

1. Start working your way out of chronic WorkGloom
If joy feels a long way off, start working on WorkGloom instead with my 21-day GloomBusters audio guide. A five-minute gloom-lifting audio will pop into your WhatsApp every day for three weeks. All you have to do is listen.

2. Sign up for a regular WorkJoy injection
Follow me on Linkedin and subscribe to the WorkJoy Jam podcast to get a regular dose of joy and inspiration every so often. 

3. Fast-track your change
Book a 1-1 coaching call with me to start tick, tick, ticking your way through that checklist until you truly become your own role model (and likely a role model for others as well).

Spread the WorkJoy

Know someone who’s flagging under the weight of the office moodhoover, or who has totally forgotten how awesome they are? Why not send them this article. And invite them for a mince pie.