Your organisation isn’t looking as bright and shiny as when you joined, and you’re starting to suspect the grass might be greener elsewhere…

The expectations you had of your organisation are lying in tatters, but you can’t tell if the problem is with them, or if it’s (*gasp*) you…

You know it’s time to go, but you can’t muster the energy or enthusiasm to even look at your CV, so you guess you’ll be sticking around then… 

The Clash had it right, you know. It really can be hard to tell whether you should stay or you should go, especially when you’re struggling under a cloud of WorkGloom. You wonder if things could get better (of course they could!). You also wonder if they might get worse (also possible). You might find yourself saying things like, ‘If only this could be fixed, then…,’ or ‘I sometimes think about quitting, but…’ Now let’s not be rash. Sometimes you absolutely do need to request your P45; equally, sometimes it can be a good idea to take a breath and do some proper thinking before you march to HR. That’s what this guide is for. To help you pause, help you weigh up options, help you see things from a different perspective. Enjoy. 

How to use this guide

If you’re not considering your next move, there are some chapters in this guide that you might still find interesting (I reckon everyone could do with actively thinking about the expectations they have of their job) , so skim the contents and hop to what looks relevant to you. But if you do have itchy feet, I’d recommend starting at the beginning and ending at the end 👣. 

Contents

Why the company you work for isn’t really real
Know this: they don’t own you
WorkJoy and WorkGloom: who’s really responsible?
How to: realign your expectations of your organisation 
Do I stay or do I go?
Loving the one you’re with
How to: fall back in love with your organisation
Next steps: Just looking or ready to leap?

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Why the company you work for isn’t really real

Your organisation is a figment of your imagination. 

Bear with me on that statement for a moment. I hear people say, ‘My company is rubbish at…’ or ‘If the business could just sort out…’, blaming much of their WorkGloom on the company they work for. Yet, organisations are not sentient, they are constructs designed to organise (the clue is in the name) how work gets done. 

It’s the people within organisations that make decisions and 99% of those are trying their best, often with limited resources and working through challenging situations. They don’t get it 100% right (because they’re human) and they’re not going to be able to meet the unique needs of every employee. Some may be able to meet most of your needs, to give you a great baseline to build WorkJoy on, while others may not be your bag and may create a sense of WorkGloom for you.

This is great news (again, bear with me). An organisation – especially a large one – is an unwieldy thing, and cultural change takes time, effort and motivation. Humans, on the other hand, are easier to influence. If WorkGloom is getting you down, it can be helpful to know that there is (or should be) an actual human who you can have an actual conversation with about it, even if they can’t fix it for you. 

Know this: they don’t own you

A phenomenon that often causes WorkGloom is the idea that your whole life belongs to the organisation you work with; that, because they pay your salary, you become owned by them. Much of this is a story in your head. Logically, you know that work is a part of life, but it takes up so much time and energy, you may not experience it that way. 

From getting up earlier to fit in emails before you get stuck in meetings that only add to your to-do list, to trying to make a global call work between time zones and staying up with the owls – even when you’re not working, your brain gets filled with the never-ending list of priorities that squeeze your other priorities to the edges. 

If you’re struggling with life takeover, I recommend taking a look at your values and your boundaries. It can also help to get clear on the expectations you have around your organisation. Sometimes we hold expectations we don’t even know about until we really do the work to uncover them. We’ll look at that in a bit more detail later on. 

WorkJoy and WorkGloom: who’s really responsible?

A little question for you: 

What’s behind the level of WorkJoy (or, more likely, WorkGloom) that you’re feeling right now? 

I have a little theory that many of us think that the organisation we work for is responsible for our WorkJoy and to blame for our WorkGloom as well. Um…nope. The second you start thinking that is the second you hand all your agency over to something that – as discussed above – isn’t even really real. What a scary thought! 

The truth of it is that your organisation cannot be 100% responsible for your levels of WorkJoy. It just can’t. It can certainly help, by providing some of the stuff you need to experience WorkJoy (including basic stuff like paying you a salary that you can use to meet your needs). But the whole shebang is your remit. Equally, your organisation can never be totally responsible for your WorkGloom. 

The organisation you work for is undoubtedly part of the puzzle, but it’s not the whole thing. So if that was your first answer to the question above, I’d encourage you to dig a little deeper. Maybe you actually have a problem with one person (a leadership challenge). Maybe it’s that the organisation’s mission, vision or values no longer align with your own (because the organisation has changed or because you have). Maybe you’ve grown out of your job. Maybe there’s a lot of change going on. The great news is that there’s a lot you can do about these things. 

Reflection questions:  What was your first instinct about the cause of your WorkJoy or WorkGloom? If you dig deeper, is there something else behind it?

How to: realign your expectations of your organisation 

As well as who/what is responsible for our WorkJoy or WorkGloom, we each bring a whole other set of expectations with us when we start working for an organisation. Of course it would be ideal if these were all based on thorough research and completely grounded in reality, but in all likelihood, that’s probably not the case. This is because a lot of our expectations are totally unconscious. We don’t even know we have them. 

Your expectations of your organisation can cover anything and everything from compensation, culture and leadership, to benefits, colleagues and progression, and loads more besides. Whether you know it or not I’m sure you started your job with ideas about how you would be treated, supported, rewarded and how you would progress. 

Problem is, things change. Organisations change, teams change, projects change, bosses come and go and colleagues get promoted. We change, too. That means that as we remain at an organisation, we need to be aware of when and how our expectations are getting out of date and need to be adjusted. This is an essential step in working out whether you and your organisation are still a good fit for each other. 

If your expectations of either yourself of your organisation have headed into the fantasy realms, you might benefit from the wisdom of the wonderful Dr Kate Goodger in our chat on the WorkJoy Jam Podcast!

FREE DOWNLOAD Dig deeper into this by downloading my Realigning Your Expectations of Your Organisation template. Get it here.

Do I stay or do I go?

How do you know whether to stay in an organisation and when to leave? The answer is nearly always ‘it depends!’. You may decide to stay when all around you decide to move or vice versa. You’ll never know in advance if the choice you make is the ‘right’ one. You can only go on the information you have at the time. Let both facts and feelings guide you.

– Facts offer perspective and help you navigate your path.
– Feelings allow you to connect with, understand, and seek out the joy, whether you stay or go

Deciding to stay

There are some obvious things that would lead to a ‘I want to stay’ answer that usually come from the more joyful end of the spectrum. Like when the work you do is interesting and engaging, when the relationship with your boss and your team is firing on all cylinders, and when your organisation aligns to your values and demonstrates how it values you. If you feel like you’re growing and that there’s opportunity in the future. 

There are a few watch- outs in this zone. The first is getting too comfortable and not noticing the changes until you’re behind the times – in your career, in how you do things – and your progress stalls. There are also practical considerations like location and working hours, benefits, friendships at work, and all the stuff and things that make a difference in your life. The key here is understanding that you are making a choice to stay for those reasons, even if there are other things that bring you gloom.

Deciding to go

There are some obvious things that would lead to an, ‘I want to go’ answer, and these usually come from the gloomy end of the spectrum. Like when you’ve fallen out of love with the work, when the relationship with your boss has entered the irreconcilable differences phase, or when your organisation no longer seems to align with your values. 

In stark contrast, new organisations can twinkle from a distant view, luring you towards a seemingly perfect world. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ organisation, so sometimes it may be safer to stick with what you know. Doing your research on whether you want to or can fall (back) in love with your organisation before you start divorce proceedings will stand you in good stead. Even if the answer is still ‘get me out of here!’ you’ll be doing it from a place of perspective rather than running for the hills. It can also help you have a joyful exit.

Loving the one you’re with

Your level of love for your organisation can range from the rose-tinted spectacled, totally besotted throws of passion (the honeymoon period), to the ‘I know you by heart’ phase where everything is in flow, to the ‘better the devil you know’ when the reality comes into view and of course the ‘I wish I never have to see you again’ of the impending break up. 

These feelings can apply to the different types of work relationships – the possibilities are almost endless. You could be feeling wonderful about your team yet feeling unconnected with this work itself. Perhaps you’re ready to break up with the organisation yet you’re loving your customers. Maybe your organisation does inspirational work that you love, yet the team isn’t quite your cup of tea.

Whether it’s a small niggle or you’re heading towards a separation it can help to remind yourself why you decided to hook up with this job in the first place. At some point you went from casually dating (applying for it), chose to move in together (interview process), and got hitched (contract signing). There must have been a reason you wanted to work at this organisation. Even if it was a ‘you’ll do for now’, reconnect with what it was, then sit down with these reflection questions. 

Reflection questions:  Have you lost sight of that connection and it just needs sewing back together? Has it been lost over time or through change? Does that reason no longer serve you as it once did?

How to: fall back in love with your organisation

Here are three experiments you can try out to seek out reconnection with your organisation.

1. Go on a first date

Sometimes you’re just a bit bored and not seeing the great things your organisation has to offer. To combat the drudge, try going on a new first date with your work.

• Dive deeper into your projects
• Get to know your team better
• Seek out what’s going on in the far-flung reaches of your organisation

Have a poke around the nooks and crannies and see what you might find.

Reflection questions:  Did you find anything unexpected or exciting? Is there genuinely nothing left to explore? Or has the relationship run its course?

2. Put on your rose-tinted spectacles

Choose to put on your rose-tinted spectacles for a while. Spend some time focusing on the good stuff and working out where the joy comes from.

Reflection questions:  Could building an even stronger relationship with the good stuff outweigh the ‘it’s complicated’ areas? Would a little extra effort in a challenging area go a long way? Or are the rose-tinted spectacles not strong enough to deal with the darkness?

3. Go on a work safari

Get your exploration kit on and look beyond your current role, team, and context. Allow yourself to explore new roles, teams, and organisations to see how a new or different relationship might fit.

• Explore the different elements and functions of your business
• Enlist tour guides from different areas and seek out feedback from the locals
• Consider the good, the bad, and the ugly

Reflection questions:  Is the grass greener on the other side or is it a mirage? Or is it a tatty old town for you now?

Even if there is no such thing as a perfect job, team or organisation, you can craft a working world that fits you well; a world where you can enjoy spending your time and where you’re able to negate the little niggles – because overall, you’re comfy together. Maybe it’s not a forever thing. Maybe it’s right for right now.

Next steps: Just looking or ready to leap?

I hope this guide has got you thinking about your relationship with your organisation. Perhaps you’ve worked through the downloads and reflection questions, and decided that you and your organisation is actually right for you, for right now, or perhaps you’ve discovered the exact opposite. Wherever you’ve found yourself on the spectrum, I’ve got a next step for you.  

If you know you want to leap, but you’re too stressed/exhausted/gloomy…
Your first step is to get out of the gloom so you can see clearly and muster the energy for transition. My 21-day GloomBusters audio guide pops into your WhatsApp every day for three weeks. All you need to do is listen. 

If you’re getting your ducks in a row…
My book, WorkJoy: a toolkit for a better working life, has a whole chapter on organisations, as well as boundaries, bosses, values, squads and more. It can help you get a whole heap of perspective about where you are now, and where you might like to be in the future. 

Also, My WorkJoy Jam podcast archive is full of guests chatting about goals, motivation, limiting beliefs, habits and more. 

If you can barely stay a week longer…
Schedule a 1:1 coaching call with me to figure out your next move, prontisimo. 

You can also follow me on Linkedin and Instagram for an (almost) daily dose of WorkJoy.  

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Know someone who’s fallen out of love with their organisation? Wouldn’t it be lovely to send them this guide?